I just received a wonderful box of love letters from Gil, seaweed love letters. Yes! Guess what? They are yummilicious. Indeed, Gil's love language is the act of giving gifts. Over the past years, I have received so many little cards, snacks and gifts from Gil.

Sometimes, I really feel guilty as a friend. I'm really not good with gifts. I have not bought Gil, Rie, Mich, Dia and the rest any gifts. In general, I have never really bought little gifts for my friends or family. I can’t even remember when was the last time I have bought a birthday gift for Jaime, my best friend for 10 years. Thankfully, she asked me not to be bothered with birthday gifts.

Somehow, the act of shopping for gifts, or rather the act of shopping, gives me stress! Yes! It does most of the time. Only on special occasions, it doesn’t. Like when I am very upset or angry with something. My close friends are aware of that.

Jaime was literally shopping with me and for me when I was preparing for my wedding. She personally sourced and/or selected my photographer, hairstylist, make-up artist, ear rings, ring pillow maker, shoes, ribbons, flowers, accessories, decorations for the wedding car and many others. I would not know what to do and what to buy without her. Shopping gives me stress.

When I was having a holiday in Beijing, I was so bored whenever the tour guide brought us to a shopping centre. I would promptly returned to our bus after walking aimlessly in the shopping mall, to find that I am the only female species (together with the men) waiting patiently for the rest of the female species who would never have enough of retail therapy.

Again in Thailand, I was totally stressed out on the first day when I knew I had to buy some souvenirs for my students and friends. I was hunting high and low for the ‘right’ little gifts. My stress level immediately went down when I found the ‘right’ gift. I bought nothing for myself. Not a dress, not a pair of ear rings and not even a T-shirt. Shopping gives me stress.

The last time I shopped was when I felt I should not have failed my driving test. Totally upset. I cried. I really shopped, with Mich and Dia, and Mich said it was something miraculous that I had done - shopping!

Perhaps, like what Sharon and Gil have said before, my language of love is not the act of giving gifts. Hence, shopping and buying gifts are both unnatural to me. So what is my language of love? I think it is spending time together.

Chatting about anything under the sun,
Sharing dreams, secrets, passion, grief,
Teasing one another,
Cracking silly jokes,
Laughing at nothing,
Just being together, happy.

Memories… Yes, that is what I cherish the most. Memories with my grandpa... Memories with Jaime... Memories with Mich, Dia, Joreen, Gil and Rie... Memories with my hubby... Memories with my students... Something that money can never buy. Sadly, I was lamenting to my friend this morning. Lamenting how little time we have with our friends and family. How little time we can share little moments and enjoy the simple joy in life! How I long for more time with people I love and care about. Just spend time.

Depressed. Heavy-hearted. Sleepless night. Lost my appetite. Just want to be alone, hide or run away. I must not allow myself to spiral downwards. Thankfully, I got a hold of myself with some medical intervention.

In the evening, I am glad that I could spend some time with mom, sister and my uncles. I’m glad that I am able to catch up with my uncles who came all the way from Malaysia. Momentarily, my trouble sat at the back of my mind.

Meet Gil for coffee and had many interesting discussion about our life on earth. Why am I always talking about this topic lately? I have no idea. Maybe I am just trying to define the meaning of this life based on the many unpleasant and pleasant experience I have encountered. I still do not have the answer. Guess I never will.

Nevertheless, these two mugs of green soya drinks temporarily brought a smile to me. Monkey – By Gil. Angel – By me. Guess, the angel was a reflection of the condition of my heart. I really need divine intervention now.

Eyes - swollen from tears. I have not wept as long, as hard since the death of Joreen.

Lost. Attacked. Not heard. I have not felt so wronged, accused and threatened since year 2002.

No badminton. No tuitions. No communication. My lips – unable to express the sadness, the accusation I felt.

I thank God that all these had happened as it allows me to see the whole picture clearly so that I understand this troubled world more.

I thank Him as I felt only a pinch of what Jesus had felt so that I can be grateful.

I thank Him that in times like this, I have someone fighting on the same line as me so that I know I am not all alone.

I thank Him that a well-respected authority from the past is willing to hear us out so that I know he has it all planned out.

My comrade said that we have not done anything wrong. Do not write that letter. Do not have it in black and white. Do not confess what you have not done wrong. Authority is not used in that way. Have faith, do not despair. For God will silence your enemies.

She isn’t my enemy. I hope I am not hers. I don’t blame her. Nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes – She, you and I. All I can say is that the sequence of event has it that way.

Pray and have faith is the only thing I must learn to do now. Rescue us from all this. My heart is crying. I do not know how. I just have to accept it. Let my heart rejoices in times like this.

Today, I met an angel, Grace, who shared her faith with me. I am so amazed by her faith, just like how amazed I am with Gil's & Ryan's. Nevertheless, our little discussion gave me some light and a few insights. I am amazed that despite her own struggles with certain questions about God, she continues to trust in Him. We had a scrumtious lunch at Palette. Even Grace fell in love with my recommendation, Lamington Burger. It seems that everytime I saw Dr. Low's pink beetle, I were wearing my pink polo T-shirt.

Gil and I had breakfast at KFC before our ‘movirathon’ at my place. It was the first time I had KFC breakfast. Well, you can say I have been successfully brainwashed by MacDonold breakfast. To my surprise, KFC breakfast doesn't taste too bad afterall. Gil told me that her Godson, Jo, can finished two scones on his own. I must say that the KFC scones are cute.



It was supposed to be a crowd but only Gil and Xin came as the rest were either too tired, not feeling well or busy. We watched August Rush and Cyborg Girl. I love the movie August Rush because it's so touching. Help Gil to scan some of her photos and found out that one of her friends in SIM is actually a secondary schoolmate. What a small world! As school is starting on Monday, I think it will be a long time before I post anything here.

We had a gathering at Rie's place. Each of us brought food for the steamboat and we ended up with lots of food. It was amazing that five girls managed to finish all those food. I felt so full that I thought I would give birth soon. Cheecky Gil kept teasing me, saying that I would be giving birth to the Yong Tau Fu that I ate. Haha.

Guess it was too much suger rush from all that eating, Gil went mad and the rest of us joined in. We had a great time laughing. Thanks to our drama mama Gil.

Some yoga formations.

I took many video evidences of Gil's madness. Of course, I would never post these video online as the scenes of the videos look too wrong. I must safe guard my friend's reputation. Nonetheless, Gil posted one her videos on her blog, which I rate them as fairly mild. Since she is alright with that video, I'll post it up here.

I would rate these videos fairly mild. Gil is really a entertaining person. =)